Things that trouble my soul

Here is a list of rants about things that truly trouble my soul:
- When a teacher makes you rewrite the same paper FIVE times. And there are still minute details he seems to find that keep him from allowing you to progress forward in the writing process. Seriously? This is freshman comp!
- The people who are super picky about their coffee. I get it, you come to caribou for special coffee and to make your day better. But, when you order a coffee/mocha/latte/whatever and the detailed list of your desires takes up more than a box on my bar screen, I already loathe you in my soul. And when you tell me to take the froth off the top and I have to scoop out milk because there is no froth on the top, and then have me re steam more milk because I took too much out, you have gone too far. (P.S. Thanks to the guy behind her in line who praised me for "not b***h slapping her" across the counter, you made my day)
- People in lifetime fitness who judge you. Don't judge me for doing girly push ups unless I get to judge you for being an evil bald midget. And stop pacing me when we do mile runs. There is a difference between friendly and creepy.

Things I should be doing, but won't do

It is currently 11:15 and I should be writing my 4th paper of the semester. It is a dialogic essay on sex slavery. But like many people, I have decided to spend my time doing more important things! These include:

- Listening to ZZ Ward. Her voice is magical and makes me calmer than a vegan at a PETA parade.

- Drinking milk really slowly.

-Watching inspirational videos. These include videos about dogs with 3 legs to people who have lost major amounts of weight. My favorites are Libby the cat (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4qqAv1_mF0) and 99 Inspirational weight losses. (Look at 1:30! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_csSxyXXLo) 

- Watching the "What does the fox say?" video three times and dancing around my room picking up the crap on my floor and finding month old socks under my bed.

- Tied my hair up in three different ponytails, only to rip them all out, curse my hair and return to this computer.

In conclusion, writing inspirational papers on educating women is hard and I will never inspire anyone to do anything.

Orientation

Orientation. A perfect time to start over. You would think that at a time like this, when you can start fresh with some new friends at a new school, that people would put their best foot forward. Unfortunately, Inver Hills does not have people like that. These are the things I saw, heard, and smelled while at orientation. (My apologies to anyone who is offended):
1. Ryan: Buddy, you were cute. You had the scruff, you wore the Ray-Bans, but you smelled like beef and cheese and you wore Napoleon Dynamite Tater tot styled pants. "Hey Napoleon, give me some of your tots."
2. Dude I thought was a lady: As happy as I am for you and your girlfriend, the 40 minute massages were a little much, could ya not? Thanks.
3. Asian man holding a Canadian flag: I'm sure the International Student Club is a blast, however my Tuesday nights are filled. Sorry.
4. Accident-prone girl: Thank you for rolling your chair a little too close to the steps and taking a tumble. You're a winner.
I don't mean to be judgmental, this is simply a few observations. All in all my morning was interesting and informational. I got free sunglasses, I joined a club, and I saw the campus. I'm sure Inver Hills will be a perfect fit and I cannot wait to see you all again on Monday.

Here We Go

Here we are.  Kaloogs and Linnu.  Making it big in this cruel world.  Just a couple of bros being who they think they should be.  Pretty chill, pretty poetic.  We may be parted for segments of time, but nothing can break this bro-ship.  Today the adventure begins!  We shall write about our respective college experiences and you, dear reader, have the privilege of partaking in our journey.  Well, in a literary sense, at least.